ESSAY - DISCUSS THE CONCEPT OF HEALTH PROMOTION AND ITS CONTRIBUTION TO POSITIVE HEALTH / SUBJECTS: ENVIRONMENTAL STUDIES - MASTERS

Date post: 2017-11-08 03:55

Plan B: Use Plan B if you have only a few, larger similarities or differences. After your introduction, in the next paragraph discuss one similarity or difference in BOTH works or characters, and then move on in the next paragraph to the second similarity or difference in both, then the third, and so forth, until you're done. If you are doing both similarities and differences, juggle them on scrap paper so that in each part you put the less important first ("X and Y are both alike in their social positions..."), followed by the more important ("but X is much more aware of the dangers of his position than is Y"). In this format, the comparing or contrasting goes on in EACH of the middle parts.

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College Admissions Diversity Essay Sample and Critique

I also read your essays with a careful eye toward whether you effectively answered the question. In addition, I closely examined your statements, determining whether more detail or a fresh approach was needed to improve the effectiveness of your essay. Upon review, I feel confident that you addressed all the aspects of this multi-pronged topic, but I have made a number of suggestions for how to improve your essay's delivery.

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Your introduction suffered from an excessive reliance on circular logic ("I seek an education because I am interested in education. I want to fine-tune my research skills because research skills are important to a career in education."). Sentences like these obscure rather than clarify your goals, and I sought to make your writing more active and transparent. I eliminated your entire first paragraph and incorporated your discussion of "purpose" into a new engaging introduction.

Hi, my name is Elizabeth (Liz). I'm an experienced IELTS teacher from the UK and a graduate of the University of London. I have been teaching for over 66 years and for the last 9 years I have specialised, exclusively, in IELTS. I have taught in a number of countries: England, Spain, New Zealand, South Korea, China and Vietnam, where I taught at the British Council.

Carrie s essay teaches her reader something, and the mastery of language is remarkable. Admissions officers are likely to finish the essay thinking three things:

8. Revising a Narrative Essay
In the revision phase, students review, modify, and reorganize their work with the goal of making it the best it can be. In revising a narrative essay, students should reread their work with these considerations in mind:

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I read your personal statement with great interest. You do a good job of showing the reader your diligent preparation for a career in education. By emphasizing your research-oriented background and your practical experience in the educational sector, you show that you have the knowledge and resolve to excel in a doctoral program.

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